Youngest sibling poem

Yes I was born first. People think it's fun to be the youngest people think I get spoiled because I'm the youngest but behind the door, it's not fun. I get called lazy, unresponsible, and trashy I try to get noticed for my efforts but I guess no one seems to care I cry when asking to get noticed, but everyone says I whine I try but everyone says I'm never trying how hard is it to be noticed? I lay down at night struggling to process why but there seems to be no clue I cry at night wondering why I'm alive? why am I here if everyone acts like I'm not? I'm invisible to everyone. I can't be to loud or to quite or there will be a problem I can't express how I feel or I'm a brat or a cry baby why is everything I do a problem? I feel pushed out when people are over I want to be in my room alone but I still want to be by people I sit in my room eating alone in the quite while everyone's out in the front room I wanna be alone but don't I don't understand. I feel alone, even if people are around if I talk I'm annoying, why do I have to match stander for someone to like me?..