You haunt me

As I take a breath full of nicotine I think of you I made you leave me because i knew i would destroy you and i regret it every second of my new empty life I am sorry that I was selfless then and I am sorry that I am so selfish now You were the best parts of my life and I mourn you the way one mourns the dead for I see you now happy and satisfied And I miss the way you laugh and I miss the way I made you laugh and I miss your eyes. I am so sorry I was the reason they filled with hatred and tears Every day I regret. So as the cigarette I swore I would never pick up ends, I light another and drown my head with music so as to not think of you. So as I stay still and destroy myself I watch with a heart full of bitterness and pride the way you build yourself back, and I regret.