You & the voices

I hear those voices, loud and near, While I hide behind a smile I wear; They say I’m not enough, won’t ever be, No day will come to set me free. That even if I swallow all the joy, Leave not a single word left to destroy, That even if I meet a love so true, And darkness fades from all I knew- Still not enough. Not pretty, not bright, Not funny, not charming, not shining in light, Not loving enough, not easy, not right, And life should be left just to chance and to fight. That I can be too much, or I can be small, But never enough to be worth it at all, To have someone stay, to stand by my side, To guard me, to love me, with nothing to hide. And when it feels like the voices go still, A moment will pass-and they come back at will; They scream and they shout, won’t leave me alone, Like I’m just a tool they fully own- And though I try hard to drown out their cries, My mind fills with chaos that never quite dies, And even if I turn my whole world around, There’s no way to silence that terrible sound- And still… know this-you are my all, The one in my dreams when I start to fall, When night softly takes me, I drift away, And nothing else matters till break of day.