yes , him , again

Realizing she was prettier than me , prettier than ill ever be , but she was selfish , and I am not. I love him , I love him alot , but I live in this constant fear that he'll do something that'll make me rot , rot in my bed , unable to move , unable to comprehend the way he could and couldn't sooth. As he brushes my hair , and kisses my face , hits me till I'm blue , yet i can't help my heart from taking a race , I hope he's smart about this , and I hope he didn't start , because if he did. It would. Surely. Shatter. My. Heart.