Years

I can't believe it's been 14 years, almost 15 now, that I've been here. And yet, you've only been here for one or two. And somehow, it's like we've been together forever, Like you're the sister I never had. I don't know why I'm writing this, but it feels needed. And Although I love you, you may never know. So, I'm refusing to take those years of doing nothing in vain. I am going to tell you, no matter how many year-like days it takes beforehand. These years have been beautiful, and ugly. But each morning I saw the sun rise like a flower budding, So beautiful and yet each year I forgot, each day. I forgot why I'm here, who I could be. But all I could hear and see were the smallest to largest mistakes I made. No more sun, just my mistakes. And then, I saw a flower, that flower was the sun. It's warmth like a hug from a mother, not like one of the constant beating of depression, Each blow like it was killing me. That flower, was you. I am alive now, not because of the drugs they gave me, if anything those killed me more than death could. Like each day I could feel nothing, like a shell of me. And when I didn't all I could do was hurt myself and almost kill myself. But then I saw you and I couldn't. Thank you.