Yearning

I yearn for something i can't explain. I have friends. I'm not alone but sometimes there's just this feeling that i feel i'm being left out. I know i have friends. But not that kind of friend's friend. You can talk to me and tell me about your day. But i know i'm not that kind of friend you will choose in a room full of people. I am not that kind of friend that other people first choice. I will never be the first choice. And i know that. But i just can't help to yearn for that. I don't want to be a second choice kind of friend. I want to be important to someone else too. I want someone to share my ideas and just be myself without getting judged. I want a friend that understands me the way i understand people. I want someone to accept me for just who i am and not from someone i made just to fit in. Cause i believe i deserved better than that. And maybe, I'm yearning for acceptance