Worthless

I've never loved one the way I love you there's both fear and pride in that there are times I can't breath nor function without you and then others I wish I could just disappear from your view the underlying disgrace I feel when you look at me the torment to my ears when you speak of me the dagger to the heart when you let me into your mind yet still I sit here with a love so deep and so true that one may mistake it for stupidity or me not knowing my worth or that of the world in which I deserve what is it? why is it? cause I can't seem to understand how I can love someone who hates and despises me so