worn ties

I feel an obligation to keep in touch. I don't want to lose people, but I don't see myself capable of maintaining any relationship. I don't talk to anyone, not because I don't love them, but out of laziness, indifference, and indifference. I just respond, lifeless, without the joy I used to transmit. Nothing inside me wants to keep it. It doesn't stand on its own, I end up hurting those I love. I sense them starting to drift away, and I don't care; I let it happen. I know I'll regret it in the future. It hurts me to hurt. It hurts me to be this way.