Words

Your words press deep into my skin. "Why are you so loud?" "You're so obnoxious," Oh, but you're only joking. Not knowing your jokes are like a knife to my throat. So I quite down, try to act calmer. "Oh, look, who's quiet now?" "You should really talk more," Tears begin to cloud my vision. I've never cried in a bathroom stall until today. Crying, wheezing, sniffling. Making jokes at my attempts to fit in. I've always struggled with socializing. Understanding social cues is a pain. Not knowing when to be outgoing or quiet. But either way, I'm wrong. Always a joke to everyone else. Tears falling onto the floor. Not knowing how to truly act anymore. All I learned today is that I'll never truly fit in, I'll just sit around and bleed out alone. Because I truly don't know where i belong in this world.