Wives Am I Right?

My wife, she watches forensic shows Where wives murder their husbands They spend some quality time at their fire pit Then get rid of them in dust bins I look over as she's watching wide eyed I almost hear the cogs grind to begin Weaving a plot so clever Of how she'd do me in It's been so many years And she hasn't done it yet She's lying in wait, waiting For the perfect time I'd bet She doesn't listen to me anymore In fact, neither do the kids It's been a while now As the past few days play upon my lids I'm transported from the house I see me laying in a tux, perfectly creased I'm at a funeral home in a casket Shocked, I am deceased But then I think back To some of the shots she fired from her eyes And now I'm not surprised That I met an untimely demise At the funeral I collect the tears From my kids, and their cries And I see nothing but happiness Emanating from my wife's eyes And that makes me happy And comes as no surprise So I go in the rain, among the ghosts No worries now of weather And I tell the story Of a lovely, woman named Heather After hearing this, Mr. Swayze joins me In my quest to haunt her forever