withered lily

Let me be 10,13,15. I keep going around in the same circle and i can't leave. The bond that holds me is stronger than me. I can't do it. Two months no, Half a year yes. I can't take it anymore, it's too much for me. I can barely hold on And there are more and more problems, Instead of saying a single word. I'm silent, I hate myself for it. I drown in his eyes, I can't control myself. what do i want? I don't need kiss, I want a volcano explosion in my mouth. I don't need a hugs, but a rough touch that will chill me. A fire that will make me dizzy. I want pleasure, trembling. When I finally get around to saying something, I can't do it. I can't say anything and we just look at each other. That deep eye contact drives me crazy. I see in his eyes what I feel in myself. i don't understand What's so hard about that? Just say something.