Will I ever find love?

Will I find love someday? Someone who will hold me down through whatever. Will I ever find true love? Someone I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with through whatever. She thinks I'm proud cos I turned her down but I'm not, I think I'm matured to know what it means to love and be loved genuinely not just sex and fun. I switched off my lustfulness then switched on my consciousness cos what is the essence of saying I LOVE YOU when you're not even conscious to love Yourself.