why u, why me

why do u have to be here why do i have to be reminded that im just ur peer that im just an npc u ignore that im just some fool a fool who keeps thinking thinking about those moments with you you hugging me you holding my hand things that friends do but i cant stop myself from thinking were more than friends... every day i hear those thoughts they run back and forth like children during recess why cant u just leave me alone every single excruciating time i move on i go back to you why cant i just stop??? u say im laidback but u dont understand u will never understand why i just say that thats just how i am thereal reason... i dont want u to know how tired i am i under rate my tiredness because i dont want you to know im tired of everything im tired of how everything that i love leaves and i dont want to admit i love u i dont want u to leave