why hurt me .

putting a smile on my face everyday, looking for a new day. getting hurt and pushed by the wrong people. family turning their backs on me . hiding the tears that fills my eyes. walk off like I'm not surprised. wanted to spend the day with the one person I feel safe around . struggling cause I'm scared what might happen in the Future and the present . tryna hold down my emotions so I won't look vulnerable. crying at night cause I don't wanna lose you. fighting off the urge to turn around and say f*ck life and everyone in it. get let down every time but expect me to do stuff for you when you want me too. making it seem like I'm down for you. screaming cause you won't let me loose free my heart.and my soul so I can fly like a dove. let me be happy for once let me live my dreams. so why hurt me ?. when I gave what you want, why hurt me if I'm by your side no matter what you do , so why hurt me if I treat you like the best friend I never wanna lose so why hurt me since I don't have to choose cause you are my muse.