Why do I always expect?

Why do I always expect you to show up, I can't believe I put you on top, I claimed you so proud an openly infront of my parents. I made sure I held you close to me, when time were rough, when times were rough, now you can't even show up for me and hold me close to you I called out your name I called out your name when I missed you so gently I expected you to show up tonight baby to hold me tightly all I got was a feeling of disappointment 😔