why cant i raise my voice?

why cant I raise my voice? while others use me day by day but I must smile and seem okay they yell and shout say im too much in my head wish I could get out they say "don't take it to the heart" as if i should drop my guard pain is pain and it hits so hard my silence speaks the truth while my past has left me scarred in the quite, I write from the heart letting my words become my art memories linger bitter and hard theres somethings that mad me happy but soon made me fall apart my fire burns Just like their flames so why must mine become my shame for some odd reason im the one to blame I've done so much but yet theres no luck what more do they want I try my best to keep up with the rest how long must I fake it well i guess til I make it when will I ever have my break while I just sit here and my heart aches