why can't I get over this?

i feel confused I was supposed to be free Why am I still attached to those things that I thought were buried in the past? why can't I get over them? why do I need to live like this? I'm sorry for this and for that for being stupid and loud for being shy and quiet for making mistakes and being defenceless I'm sorry for dragging you down with me to this void of emptiness. I can't go on any longer just acting like nothing happened has never been one of my strengths I can't get over this... why can't I?