Why?

Why the fuck did you give me a heart if all it does is break? Why did I keep praying when silence is all I got back? Why the hell does it feel like everyone I love leave? Why am I always the second choice, the ghost they don't see? Why did she say she cared then vanish like smoke? Why do they preach love, but turn cold when I choke? Why did hold on when the noose felt more honest? Why do I smile when all I want is to Persh? Why is pain my only shadow, my only damn friend? Why did I beg for help and get bullshit in the end ? Why do I scream inside and noone fucking hears? Why is every tear invisible, even after all these years? Why does God feel like a million miles away when I need him the most? Why do I sit in the dark writing letters like a ghost? Why do you break me, then act like I'm fine Why did your silence almost cost me my life that night? Why do I want to die more tgen I want to live? Why does love feel like a bullet not a gift? Why is love a four letter lie? Why am I still here, when I so badly want to die?