Whispers from tomorrow.

It's chilly now. No, not the weather. I mean life - or at least the reality of life that dawned on me when I turned twenty. I turned twenty last month and I haven't been able to live up to how serious it sounds. Not as serious as fifty years sounds but I think you know what I mean. Being twenty makes it easy for me to look at myself and see all the flaws that I have. It hasn't been easy, really. In between school and trying to balance my non - existent social life, I'm exasperated. Lord knows when people tell me how calm and collected I am, I don't see it. If only they knew the turmoil going on inside my head. The calculative and predictive thoughts. It's quite annoying and I really have to ask, does it ever stop? Does the anxiety and fear of failure ever go away? Does the imposter syndrome go away? I can't see fifty from where I'm standing because my head is wrapped up in black but I'm hoping it's not a bed of roses because that would be bloody.