where will i find ease?

I stayed south, stayed north,east and west. I stayed happy,sad,thoughtful,thoughtless my humanity has become craziness I lived my life thinking all day I choose to live far away from home just because..home doesn't feel like home never used to staying with my own family. sometimes I'm shy when home this was never caused by me.. I was not raised that way.I lived far Away and engage in different theft,bad behaviors...I had parents,my mum lost her job...BT trying her best with anything she has,my dad has a job and did his best to give me a good education..BT with my dad's care..its always not easy..firstly...I see him as a bad person,and later as a good person,don't even know which to choose.BT I won't talk about my dad...as I live far from home...staying with my grandpa...sometimes when i'm alone..I need several things as a girl,BT couldn't get...I remembered when I need undies and I had to steal from someone near.from a younger child and also from a person older than me...it got to a stage whereby I had to tell this young girl to steal from her mum's purse to give me money..or she will give me what they sell..countless times,without her mum' job..trying his possible best to give me a good education