Where is Joy

I look into your eyes and cannot see my reflection And yet, they remain lively and beautiful as ever They see what you want, and it is not me Not that I would force your hand, I do not even hope you will change your mind I gave up on hope a long time ago You want what is best for you and I as well What if you are what is best for me Too many what ifs, too many maybes Tragic still, I cannot be genuinely happy in your presence But yet, I'm at my happiest with you And lo, it is not happiness I need, but joy And you, It's you, You are joy, of which I have none