when is it my turn

my family has a cycle we are all mentally ill one has to be strong three women mom oldest daughter youngest daughter I am the oldest this part will matter mom and sister scream at each other I run to moms room first I let her cry and I listen to why I make my way to sister and when she's done punching whatever she can find she lays her head on my chest and I let her cry and I listen to why let it all out I tell them both but when is it my turn they don't see me the way I see them they never notice all the fucked up things in my head I'm going crazy I'm probably a psycho I see shit that's not even there but what the fuck else Is there I can't cry I gotta be there for them but what they don't see is me fucked up on drugs in my bed I can't fucking do this watch me play around and do some dumb shit so when is it my turn it's been a damn year I can't take i might just say fuck you to both of their faces this shit is crazy I can't do this anymore I might just be gone by tomorrow