When I saw God

People say suicide is a sin, But when I tell them how I saw god When I slid the knife across my wrist, They are quick to say it is still a sin. The same people will say how being in love With the same gender is defying god, Will look at me with stupidity when I say I Fell into religion when I first kissed her. Who are they to tell others how to find God? Because I know if I were to tell them where To find God, They would call me the antichrist.