What would you choose?

Do I attach the strings again or do loosen them knowing his just a friend We both know how this is gonna end But I can't help when I look in his eyes A lightning bolt shock me by surprise Maybe it was love and not pretend Maybe our love would last until the end Sometimes I wonder why I put my heart in control Instead of my mind so I can focus on my goal Now all this confusion got me spiralling in to a hole Of emptiness, loneliness, pain and confusion And illusion I used to think I saw the world clearly But I was busy killing myself slowly Searching for that one and only Why can't you be patient the blessings are coming your way since you awaited