what we planned

I spend everyday waiting for the next. I waste my days rereading that last text. the final goodbye, without my realizing. the wasted time I spent theorizing. thinking back on the days before, wishing you had the opportunity for more. revisiting places that remind me of you, waiting for this feeling to subdue. I wouldn't think about you in hopes of forgetting, the loss of you was too upsetting. I drownd my thoughts and feelings in music, the sound of silence made me feel sick. but now all I do is think about you. maybe this is my breakthrough? I rememberd your favorite color, and how you loved the summer. I rememberd the games we played, and how your love hit like a grenade. I love thinking about the times we had, I just wish things went as we planned.