what was i mad for

i had dreams too because in some point in life I was a human also who wished that someone would love me yes I did felt like that because whatever things I was going through I Knew it lies in my depression i already knew that everything was gonna go wrong yet I still believe that somehow life will prove me wrong I had dreams too I wish someone could love me the way I wants appreciate me and be there for me but everything happened the opposite way it feels like my past is repeating itself it no type of a feeling what I went through I don't wish anymore to go through that pain broke me now I know love is just a silly thing it not real