what shall I do

there were things I never said aloud the things I never talk about. there were pain that I never open up that always drain me, before I held up. there were love that I never dare to dove neither to move away I kept it close in some way. there were dreams that had always turn into memes and it inturn to burn. there were stars far from the bars that crushed into dust turning into disgusting lust. there were bloods that rain like floods inside of my nerve never letting a smile curve.