~What Have I Learned?~ pt.1

What have I learned? I ask myself day after day What have I learned? I can list my past mistakes I can list what I want to change But what have I learned? What does it matter what things I know should be fixed, if they aren't? What does it matter, my past mistakes if I don't grow from them? I try, but what does it matter if the lesson is forgotten in the heat of a moment... Am I aware of the hurt I've caused? If so why haven't the feelings changed? Why haven't the behaviors changed? Am I even capable of change? I believe most people are capable of change and growth, yet for me, my optimism fades... If I'm capable of change, why haven't I? I could say, my communication has improved... what's the point when I distance myself from others with no warning and deny anythings the matter when things seem to crumble... What's the point, when I seem to solve one problem only to find another flaw in myself? I can tell you my problems, I can tell you where they came from, but when fixing them I fall. What have I learned? I ask myself day after day What have I learned? I can list my past mistakes I can list what I want to change But what have I learned?