What do I want?

I no longer know what I want from life. Days are going by fast, and some already gone. Repeating the same mistakes, hoping there's still something left to gain. Trying to push this perverse desire away, just so I won't feel the pain of regretting again. Maybe I want you so I can finally feel safe, or maybe a little piece of your heart to make me soft. I carve out something just to feel alive, to take me back to those best times where I had no fear, no anxiety, no sleepless nights only the quite peace of a child's mind. I desire to be alone, but also gone, just so I won't remember what I already know. I want to be born again- yet never grown- just to finish the race I've never won.