“Wasted potential.”

Surreal Reality, Triggering my anxiety,  Mind drowsing with fear,  Living to fight my thoughts to leave, die,  and just disappear  Crying over a mere wasted gift, Admired them, Tries so hard to be like them What do I see in myself? Special? Useless?  Crying over a mere wasted pure heart In rage, I clench my fist Lifting my soul up, can never be done. Though I want to hold a gun Pull the trigger and shot myself Loss for words, Lost for love Throat so drough, Just like in a dried and empty land Just like an empty heart with a surrounded mind Such a wasted time, running too fast, its pace so quick. Did what I need, Failing every attempt Feeling so sick, what an expresson for the ick