Want it to be worth it

I WANT TO SCREAM UNTIL EVERY HAIR ON MY SCALP HAS BEEN PULLED OFF! I WANT TO RUN FROM MY SEAT AND INTO THE STREET, TRIP ON MY OWN FEET AND SPLIT MY LIPS ON A PIECE OF GRAVEL! I WANT TO HAVE A CONCUSSION SO IMPACTFUL I AM UNAWARE OF MY SURROUNDINGS AND LOSE ANY CONNECTION WITH REALITY! I WANT TO BE LEFT WHERE I LAY WITH NO EYES TO BRING ME COMFORT AND ALLOW ME TO EXPERIENCE SOMETHING PHYSICALLY WORSE TO CRY ABOUT!