Vows meant to be left unbroken

I'm sorry I'm about to break the vow, The one I made with shaking hands somehow. I said I'd stay strong, I'd hold it inside, But the storm came back, and I couldn't hide. I hate me for this, for slipping again, For drowning in thoughts I can't explain. And maybe it’s no big deal to you, But this pain feels sharp, this ache feels true. I'm a mess, always breaking promises, Wearing guilt like heavy dresses. Each time I fall, I whisper, "last," But somehow, the hurt still circles back. They say it’s a phase, I hope that’s right, I pray I make it through the night. I'm sorry if the thoughts in my head win, I swear I’m trying to keep them in. I’m fighting this battle, deep and wide, But don’t be angry if it turns the tide. If it ends me, just know I tried, And with all I had left I cried.