vital blackout

I procrastinate as I shut down. My room is filled with a seemingly tranquil silence. I find it difficult to speak; I breathe out of habit, out of fear. Constant headaches surround me. I delay sleeping and end up with twelve hours of sleep, deep in thought. I keep falling asleep, even though I try to avoid it. My body can't hold on for another second. Nothing brings back the life that's already been taken from it. Every minute I have to relax, my eyes close in search of the rest I can't find. I struggle to keep them open, I force myself to pay attention. I try to be interested, to make an effort. It's always useless. My mind and body have agreed, they don't allow me to live out my days. I lose moments, I lose people, I lose feelings. I lose consciousness. I hear the faint sounds of the wind through my window, I feel autumn knocking at the door. I hear foreign words from the kitchen, I can't hear them; my soul won't let me. The lights begin to dim, my breathing slows. My body slowly shuts down, searching for some form of rest. Finding nothing to restore its vitality.