Verbal anxiety exppression

bloody deep beneath the barbed trench scarred skin. Is a happy I. Till my subconscious becomes self aware, and manipulates me to wanting to die. Shakily nervous though solid I breathe to think. this anxiety won't go away. Beaten with memories, and words that inflame my insecurities. Familiar I get with my sins comfort in a dark zone. A hole I once laid in before I put a bullet under the chin and lived. Is it my blood pressure? Can I live? Will I be able to continue?