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it hurts DAMN IT! IT HURTS.... IT FUCKING HURTS... it... it hurts... like WHY?!?! WHY?!?!... why am I so useless when needed... gotten many chances yet still no change... given everything that i needed... and i still can't do it, it feels like i am growing thorns... everyone who relies on me keeps on getting failed, disappointed, hurt... and I can't even do anything about it... me being there just makes it worse... i have failed everything, i have failed my family, i have failed god, i have failed myself, and i have failed ...her. am nothing but a disappointment... everything given to me, yet i just took them for granted, like i had a choice to do it... yet... i couldn't do it... it hurts knowing someone else could've done a better job if they were the one born instead of me... i hate myself... everything i do... i hate it... wished for perfection yet settled with enough... so how could i love someone truly... if I can't even love myself.