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Constant fear of old patterns repeating. Yet, also scared that im completely pulling away now. My heart once was so strong and could withstand so much pain. However now, it begs for peace. The years keep flying by, my image slowly fading i resemble not myself anymore but a broken reflection of what I once was. Yet my inner child holds on to my soul so tightly. Begging for it to not give up the fight and remain happy just like I always was back then. The face shows it all.. Smiling, frowning.. blank expression. . They all came in a sequence without warning.. without time to prepare. The mind is a weapon and can back fire so quickly. It can also be you're greatest strength in this world. To cause so much self sabotagment. To cut the string that tied our souls so tightly together through time itself. Its gone. The happiness, laughter. The hopes and dreams of the future. Nothing but bitterness and empty eyes.. happiness doesn't exist in my heart for love anymore.. Just devotion to make others happy.