until nothing is left

my life is slowly slipping out of my hands I can't seem to escape it like I used to nothing feels real I don't want it to be real everything has been played with my life is a shitty game I had everything I wanted. everything. and just like that it's all gone I don't know how to react or respond but most harsh I don't know how to move on to start a new chapter I don't know how to leave this behind I wish it all would continue and never end I hate my life. it used to be worth living it was everything I imagined it to be now it's perished it's blown away nothing I want is here anymore I hate myself of course it got taken away I deserve it I deserve every bad hand dealt to me I don't want it but what I want doesn't matter everything I want is in other people's hands and I cant do anything I'm slipping out of reality and I don't want to be here. I want to be in my own little world just withering away until nothing is left