unstoppable force

crawling gasping for air trying to claw myself out I help people everyday out of this why not myself I don't trust myself enough it gets so hard to move to get out I need help but I don't want help the guilt weighs me down as if there were an elephant on me I either suffocate in guilt or simply suffocate i'd rather suffer alone then pull another person to experience it with me but it gets so much harder when you haven't breathed for so long you get used to it but then later it gets harder Its gotten so hard people keep telling me to get a oxygen mask but I'll be guilty I much rather give it to my friend sure I'll suffocate as long as their okay I'll be okay Ill cover my face when I see them so they don't see the purple undertone of my skin I don't know why I can't breathe they say as long as I borrow someone else's oxygen tank I'll be fine but that's too hard I'll just suffocate I'll be put to rest after all it is an unstoppable force