Unseen but felt

Scars so old but feeling the same, the same hard thing you feel in your chest- it's eating you up everyday a slice. Sometimes it stops, then it comes back like a heavy rock that you can't get rid of. The rhythm is unknown, you don't know when its gonna show but when it does it feels heavier, darker and less unknown but i still don't know why it shows. Eating u from the inside but no one knows slices are missing- but you feel the pain, you feel the sorrow, you feel everything's falling apart knowing that this is the last part. But you don't want to end it, you want to feel normal again but the pain is so strong you want to break the hole. Hoping everyday, every night it will stop tonight but knowing myself better then ever the hole is looping again. I failed everyone, everything i do is not enough and i'm tired, i am exhausted, i am empty on the inside and all i feel is fear. The fear of wanting to end it but knowing i'm to weak to do it, so i must grit my teeth and go through the pain, through the hurricane that's in my head. I must survive because I'm not brave enough to show I'm not okay and i struggle everyday so i got to put up an act and act to be fine.