Unreasonable Things

Is it really a problem to find someone you want to spend the night with? Is it really wrong to kiss and hug him even though no one is getting hurt, or because there’s no one I would hurt by flirting with her man? Even I, myself, don’t know why I’m doing these unreasonable intimate things. As far as I know, putting a label on something you’re not sure about is dangerous— like putting the wrong label on a chemical. You know it could end in disaster. For a while, I did make an effort to stop those uncertain things between us. I talked to him and told him that whatever it was we were doing felt wrong. But I guess it was also my fault for disobeying the agreement we had laid out. For me, ending it meant returning to a boring place once again. That’s because I’ve been living in a quiet, uneventful part of my life, where flirting with guys feels like a bother and only ruins my love for reading. Sometimes, I hope for a change and for the strength to completely stop this act that I’m doing. What should I do to fully crush this unreasonable intimate relationship? How can I know that things won’t end in disaster afterward? By all means, I’m all ears for the words that might finally wake me up to reality.