Unhealthy

I know our love isn’t healthy. I had tasted a sweetness that masked a horrid poison. The love we once had went from sugar to tar. I don’t know how something so sweet could end up being so bitter. I see how people end up in toxic relationships. You don’t realize that the love you once had is fading into hatred. You care so much one minute then it feels like you have just given up on them the next. I look at him sometimes with such hate. I never thought you could love someone you hate yet I “love” him and he “loves” me. Truth be told he knows I hate him yet he still wants to stay. I think it is because he hates me just as much as I hate him. He wants me to suffer with him. One of us could just leave but we choose to stay in this cycle of hurting one another. I have no clue why we can’t break this pattern. It is never physical, it is always his actions that degrade me and my words that shatter him. I think we have just grown into loving to hate each other now. I don’t know why I am fine with this. I shouldn't be. We both know our love is unhealthy.