Undeserving

I'm not deserving of love I can't be I mean people tell me I am But I don't feel like it's true Why would I deserve love? I've had people tell me that I deserve love But what if I don't I mean it's the thing that I crave the most It's also the thing I fear the most Make that make sense I mean I've always been a burden Always the problem Just a reason for someone's bad day The catalyst for negativity The void of love Something I've began to realize I'm void of love And I don't mean I'm incapable of it I just don't have any of it I never have I mean people tell me they love me but What am I to say? It feels uncomfortable to say it back Like I do love you as well But you are going to laugh And maybe you won't laugh at me But there's no guarantee If I said I love you and you laugh How am I supposed to feel? Obviously not very good I love everyone if I'm being honest My heart is huge But I'll be damned if you see it That's dangerous and scary Way too vulnerable See, I'm not deserving of love None at all It's just a thing I'm allergic to Or maybe it's allergic to Me? It just stays away