Triggered

There's been a moment of clarity As I struggle to pick up the pen Ideas circling in my mind I can actually see again Warmed by lust by a moonlit window Sharing breath and hot air To feel the blood rush again The feel of hands gripping my hair How easy it is to become entangled. Passions mixed with traumatization Blurred lines of communication Fear accompanied by frustration Self isolation for self preservation To let you in but only in body A spirit too guarded to care if you trust me Is it attachment or love? To me, it feels ugly. I've bared my soul to someone who "loved" me. Why do I find you so intimidating? I find comfort in your arms, but the thought debilitating.  Is it all in my head? I'm constantly debating Same book, same story, different chapters we're illustrating. So, let this be the trigger warning  For what was our fate We'll ping pong chasing and avoiding each other And that's the destiny we'll create. And now we're in a cycle. I'll meet you at the run on sentence.