Trembling hands, unseen.....

(It started with J) I gave you not just words, not just time— I gave you me. The soul beneath the silence, the corners no one had touched. I gave you truth, layer after trembling layer, and still— you saw sin in the softness, shame in the surrender. No— I didn’t let someone close because I wanted to. I wasn’t tempted. It was fear—screaming, choking, gnawing— that sent me running. I was scared to my bones of the very pain I’m feeling now. Scared of you leaving. And somehow, my fears became prophecy. They always said "What you fear the most ends up happening." And here I am— with a crushed hope, a broken heart, and silent pain sharp as daggers. You said, "Give me money, at least it's the last good thing you'll do." As if the love I folded into your dark wasn’t currency enough. As if my honesty wasn’t already a sacrifice. I wasn’t perfect— but I was present. I held space. I swallowed tears. I kept choosing you when I had every reason to fold. You? You were loyal— but only that. And love, love needs more than just absence of betrayal. It needs presence, patience, grace. I won't send rage i won't ignite fire to burn what’s already in ashes.. you never saw me And I — I will never again bleed just to be loved.