Trapped

I sit here thinking. The sound of crashing and sawing, Keeps me up. Wind soaring, Birds chirping. It's too early for this. Stress, anxiety, depression. It all hits twice as hard with no sleep. Sleep? What is sleep? Sleep is a struggle Sleep is exhausting. Tossing and turning. Cover on, cover off. Why must i be like this? One wrong move. Start over, over, over, over. Why must I be like this? All I need is peace and quiet. Is that too much to ask? I want my mind to stop. It's like it's on a treadmill. Running, walking, running, walking. Why doesn't it take a break? Imagine darkness. Imagine the beach. Count until you can't. You will fall asleep. No, NO! It doesn't help. My mind will keep racing. I'm not sure what it's trying to beat. My will? Or my exhaustion? Darkness. It's something feared. Something unsettling. Why must there be darkness? The eyes I see in the corner. Watching, stairing at me. "They are not real" They tell me "It's your imagination" They tell me. But how can they say that? It's watching my every move. Every turn. Every twitch. Every breath. I need a break. But how do I get one? The deafening noise, Ringing, shouting at me. Telling me to stop. I'm trapped.