too much

I watch, I try in vain I won't see anything there anyway a room immersed in shadow, feeling, barely audible, tells me "You're just petty" that's what everyone thinks why are you all so proud? tears come to my eyes I can already taste their bitterness I'm a coward once again and you own the firepower each new wound it hurts more than the old one the scars will remain they never go out I'm choking on words again how much do i have to put up with? it tempts me to turn my back on everything and become a thorn instead of a beautiful but defenseless soul...