To my past lover

Did i ever love you , I ponder, Towards the reality,now I slowly saunter Maybe I never truly loved you, But I've always loved the idea of you, Your eyes no longer hold a reflection of me, I am no longer your reason for glee, The more I look at you, a million different faces I see, Did i ever look at you , the way you looked at me? My heart can no longer lie, I am but an animal consumed by guilt, From your last hi to your last goodbye, No I never judged you wrong, Though you hold me in your heart, That's not the place where I belong, No amount of guilt,no amount of apology, Can turn back time to undo this tragedy So here I am pouring my feelings down, Trying to justify my wrong actions, Afterall, I am a man who spits at his own crown.