To my father, My first friend

When I walked home alone, your laughter met me at the door. You held my small hands, teased me with beard jokes, “Why is the dinosaur bigger than the shark?” Even when I rolled my eyes, you stayed. Always staying. Even now, I see you in my little brother’s laugh, and my heart twists with longing and jealousy. I wish I could be that child again, to run into your arms, to hear your voice say, “I see you. Always.” I’ve grown, I stumble, I fail, I try, but every step carries your lessons. Your patience, your jokes, your love… they are stitched into me, even when I forget to show it. Father, I want to make you proud, though I know it’s not the same as before. I’ll carry your light forward your hand that held me, your laughter, your misai jokes, your heart that never left me alone.