to my dad

u were supposed to be the person to protect me from the bad guys out there instead u became one and left me and my mother we needed u,I needed u to be there to be my father I need u to be my protector to see me take my first steps to hear me talk for the first time to teach me how to ride a bike to bring me to my first day at school to see me graduate see me how I get my first boyfriend u were supposed to teach me how to drive u were supposed to be there and protect me from all the bad guys from all the boys that broke my heart if u were here I wouldn't have depression I wouldn't get anxious I wouldn't need to wonder how it is to have a father if u were here I wouldn't have the need to search the father u never were in a man I wouldn't have father issues I wouldn't be this heartbroken because the first man to ever break my heart was u. u were the first man to break my heart and u broke my mother her heart which I'll never forgive u for I'll never forgive the fact that im laying here writing this with tears in my eyes and a hole in my heart u will never understand the pain I'm feeling u won't understand how it is to not have a father figure in ur life u will never understand