to love or not to love

he never loved you because if he had, he wouldn't have kept things against you if he loved you, he wouldn't have had to look for reasons to keep you he wouldn't have turned everyone against you he would have been fair in the break up he would have tried to work through it cause I didn't do anything wrong yet he didn't believe me. I knew who he was, yet he looked at me like he'd just met me in the supermarket he listened to your stories to gain an advantage to have something to throw back at you, Scalding hot words seeping through your exterior enough to leave an acidic burn, to cut through tissues like they're butter he never cared how you were, as long as he benefitted from you got a promotion? "Bring me to a fancy dinner," all the while, sitting at home, jobless, relying on his parents. "Don't worry about it," -just to throw it in your face in an argument.- how little he must have thought of me just "not docile enough," "this could all go away if you're a good little girl and shut up." I won't. that's not me. he hated that he couldn't crush you under his boot he didn't care how you felt he didn't care how hurt you were he cared how hurt HE was maybe he loved you but in the end, he loved himself more